Why is there so much backlash over food allergies?

[Chupieandjsmama]

Can someone explain to me why food allergies are so polarizing? (this is a blog post that I wrote for WEGO Health).

I just don't get the anger and hate that is brought toward food allergy kids and their parents?

Any ideas? It's so frustrating and so sad.

[wimom]

Its because schools/daycares are going nut aware or nut free. People feel their rights are being squashed. Why should they be restricted because of someone else? It's the peanut allergic kids problem... right. How dare they not be able to send their kid with thier favorite food.

I got mad at my mother-in-law at my niece's birthday. Everyone was notified of my sons peanut and orange allergy. I sort of expect my immediate family to provide foods for my son to eat (even though I bring stuff along just in case anyhow). After all they are the ones I trust to babysit him, when needed. My niece had a beach birthday party so they made a HI-C punch that was blue. I asked my sis-in-law (mother of the birthday girl) if it had orange in it and she said I could read the ingredients but I wanted to teach her how (she is slightly slower mentally but capable of understanding if shown) so I explained it said fruit juice concentrates and in the parenthesis it said orange. My mother-in-law who made the punch said "well, we needed something blue for the ocean." I was fuming. I was not asking them to provide something different (although it would have been nice if they checked to see if the ingredients were ok).

They had other soda available. My 3 yr old son was very dissapointed that the other 5 kids could have the "ocean" and he couldn't. But that comment was RUDE. I trust her to take care of my son in an emergency. She could have at least checked to see if it was safe and called me for suggestions. My husband ended up telling her that I could've helped and she could have used blue kool-aid instead.

When it comes to friends or family reunions, I don't expect everyone to plan around our allergies. I just let them know when I RSVP that he is allergic to peanuts and orange and if they could avoid it that would be great if not I understand but to let me know so I can bring alternative food along for him.

[MorethanMommy]

I don't entirely understand why other people get SO upset about their kids not being able to eat peanuts (or whatever else) in school. I feel like there are bigger social issues to tackle in the world, you know? We aren't born with some inalienable right to eat peanut butter. That said, I have dealt with a couple of food allergy moms (before our son was diagnosed) who were rude and pushy and ugly to be around. I know it comes from fear and frustration, but it has given me a different perspective as I advocate for my son. I try to approach people in advance, not with demands, but with questions. I don't expect other families to be willing or able to accommodate his food allergies, but I call before birthday parties, etc., to find out what is being served. If there are no nut products (he's allergic to peanuts, tree nuts and eggs), I let them know that I'll bring a cupcake and other snacks for him. It's never come up, but we wouldn't knowingly attend a party where nut products are being served. He's 3 and too young to be able to identify things that are bad for him. Typically, other families are very accommodating when approached gently in advance. My family hosted a shower once where my brother-in-law's aunt was invited. She brought her 7 year-old son (without asking - he wasn't invited). He has severe peanut allergies so she ran around demanding to see packaging and making a big fuss. All she needed to do was call in advance (which is polite when you bring an uninvited child in the first place), explain that she'd need to see packages and ask if we could save them. I think it's behavior like that that makes other people more resentful. I always keep that in my mind when visiting other peoples' homes.

I think that if we are able to calmly and clearly make reasonable requests, others will respond in a more positive light. And I have to say that I feel incredibly lucky that my child was born now, where I have other families and the law for support, and not 20 years ago.